Another post about the birthparent search
In 2018, I did 23andMe (DNA test) because this was the database most used by Chinese adoptees, and therefore was the most useful. I uploaded by DNA to GEDmatch and then patiently waited until the day I would get a match from...anyone, indicating something other than a distant cousin. But nothing ever happened.
In 2019, I learned my orphanage was involved in baby-buying via a public Facebook post on the DNAConnect.Org Facebook page. In other words, an adoptee from my same orphanage was from a completely different city: her finding documents were falsified. Looking back further, there was evidence that my orphanage routinely forged abandonment documents and so many more orphanages did too (see the NHK article under articles and links page). Trafficking, specifically the Duan Family system, began in 1992 as well according to their interview in the documentary, "One Child Nation." If I was serious about investing the time, money, and effort into a search, I would have to become educated about the actual situation in China, not just the fairytale version told to Chinese adoptees, and so I did. (Compilation of Real Stories)
In the Summer of 2020, I had been planning to return to China for the first time...I was excited even, my parents were ready to buy the tickets for the plane and everything. But then the Mainland's violence against the Hong Kong protests was getting bad...and then COVID-19 happened. You know the rest. I felt deeply saddened and robbed of the opportunity to return.
What could I do to help other adoptees in their search efforts? I donated to DNA Connect with my graduation money, hoping that at least some other adoptees could have that wish happen for them. I also decided that for my 2020 undergraduate graduation gift, I wanted to get the Birth Parent Search Analysis from Research-China.org, all I had to do was send them my official finding document. After receiving this information that confirmed by fears that some shenanigans was going on at my orphanage, I started to wonder if I could trust any part of my official records.
Coupled with what I knew about private vs. public searches, the determination of orphanages to thwart your reunion plans, and the corruption in the police, I began to question my lifelong fantasy of wandering around rural China with flyers of my finding information...all of which was false...and finding my birthparents.
But though my chances are close to 0%, I know I will not be able to live with myself if I don't do something and it is better to start searching today than tomorrow: time matters.
Though I know I am doing this for pure and honest selfish reasons, and I am unashamed to say so, for orphans and adoptees of all people should be allowed to have dreams once in a while, you know. I also know that pursuing such a search will likely overturn new information that will lead to other people's birthfamilies. I am willing to take the leap with DNAConnect because I will be forever disappointed in myself if I don't. Even though I know in my heart that nothing will show up.
So...I took some photos of myself in my grandfather's painting studio, under bright white lights for the Wide-Net search project. I wondered, not for the first time, whether I had a twin sister or sibling or a mother who looked like me. Would she have my eyes or nose? Maybe she even gave birth to me at the age that I am now. It's awfully strange, as I flipped through the photos. I looked at myself as if I were a third person: what features would stand out to me? Was any part of my face recognizable? Remarkable? Would it be enough for someone to say, "Ah, I know someone who looks like this..." or "That's the spitting image of..." or "That smile...I'd know it anywhere...and that nose!"
My entire family was involved, looking over each picture, digging up old photos sent from the orphanage. Anything that would give any birthparents a fighting chance of recognizing something. We'll see what happens. Hope can be very devastating.
My entire family was involved, looking over each picture, digging up old photos sent from the orphanage. Anything that would give any birthparents a fighting chance of recognizing something. We'll see what happens. Hope can be very devastating.
Donate to DNA Connect . Org Here
Disclaimer: Again, this blog is in no way affiliated with DNA Connect or Research China. I'm just a Chinese adoptee who wants to find her birthfamily.
Disclaimer: Again, this blog is in no way affiliated with DNA Connect or Research China. I'm just a Chinese adoptee who wants to find her birthfamily.
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