Challenging the Official Story: Truth and Lies of Chinese Adoption (Part 3)
The New Age of DNA
So this is part 3, a compilation (scroll down) of all of the different real life stories I have heard and read from adoptees who have found their birthparents via DNA or have interviewed birthparents in China.
It's not comprehensive, and for privacy reasons, I can't name everyone. I'll only link publicly available articles. My purpose for Part 3 is to have a running record of everything I know so far, so that we can evaluate and take emotional inventory of what is going on. At some point, you just have to face the facts, even when it's hard to look.
I have admittedly heard strange tales from other adoptees and their families in the early 2000's, whether that included birthfamilies who actually wanted to find their lost babies or whether that included finding out that the abandonment documents were a lie. Yet, I chalked these up as rare, freak occurrences that simply could not apply to me. I talk about denial here. But as more DNA matches were made between birthfamilies and adoptees, I could no longer ignore the fact that though every adoptee was raised to believe they were abandoned, this was hardly ever the case. In fact, the vast majority of adoptees reached the orphanage through being relinquished to another person.
You have an official abandonment/finding document. Why should you care?
(Source for a profile of origins Stuy 2014.)
Let's put it this way:
Over 110.000 Chinese babies were adopted internationally between 1991-2018. EVERY SINGLE baby was given the same story, that the parents were forced to abandon the baby because of the one child policy. The finding document is stamped. It gives you closure. It tells you the date of birth, the date of the finding, the location of the finding, and the finder. End of story, right?
--wrong.
Birthdays were purposefully changed to prevent birthfamilies from reconnecting with their babies. Finders were forged and finding spots made up. Why? To cover up the fact that this "abandonment" story was only true for a fraction of cases.
- If your document says you were a newborn, it is likely you were trafficked, possibly at birth from home or even in the hospital. This means you were moved from point A to point B and there might have been coercion/lies/kidnapping involved.
- If your document says you were older than two months, then it is more likely a forced abandonment (That doesn't rule out trafficking though)
- If your document says you were a little older, it is likely Family Planning/officials/village leaders were involved aka confiscated you.
But these are not the only options. In fact, the more you learn and listen, the more you realize everything under the sun was happening. You won't know your story unless you hear it directly from your birthparents. So without further ado, here is what I've heard so far:My sources for below:
DNA/Adoptee Groups on Facebook
23 and Me private messages
Emails with distant DNA relatives
Research China
DNA Connect
The Most Common Scenarios I Have Read About
1. Family Planning Officials/Orphanage Workers/One Child Police forcibly confiscated the baby from the birthmom/birthfamily/grandparents and took the baby to the orphanage. Or the so-called trafficker (matchmaker) is a family friend or relative who brings the baby to the orphanage in person.2. Family planning officials/orphanage workers/traffickers/police/midwives/hospital doctors trick family members into thinking they will get their baby back (she'll return in 20 years after going to school! Or after she gets enough food! Or after she gets medical attention!) OR they tell the birthfamily that the baby will be adopted domestically so they can still visit. But the baby is in fact adopted internationally and may never find them again because there's scarcely any real information to go on.
3. Baby is forced to be abandoned after all other options are exhausted and possibly after visits from local officials at a) a parentless couple's doorstep or b) a public location that is well-traveled/popular and a) is found and brought to orphanage or b) is found by traffickers and brought to orphanage who get a finding fee in reward or c) is found by orphanage employees and brought to orphanage who get a finding fee in reward. Once in the first orphanage the baby is a) adopted internationally or b) resold to another orphanage to be adopted internationally. If any extra-legal activity was happening, finding/abandonment documents have falsified information on them.
All Scenarios I Have Read About
1. The birthparents know someone in the orphanage and hand the baby directly to her.2. Orphanage or family planning officials knock on the door and demand the baby.
3. Other relatives take care of the baby and family planning/orphanage workers demand the baby.
4. Parents of the dad do not like the girl because of older ideas of gender. The grandparents abandon the baby without telling the mom, while the family locks the mom in the house. Story on Research China
5. Dad abandons the baby in a known location but refuses to tell the mom who wants to keep the baby. Or vice-versa.
6. A relative or birthmom is tricked by an orphanage worker into giving up the baby with false promises that the baby will get much needed surgery/medical treatment/food and will return the baby shortly.
7. A sister wanted her baby sister to be kept so much that she wanted to commit suicide so that her mother didn't have to choose between her and the baby. She didn't commit suicide, but an orphanage worker tricked her into giving the baby by promises of food for the baby because the family was too poor to feed everyone. The orphanage worker never returned the baby and the baby was adopted.
8. Birthmom loves the baby so much and misses the baby so much that she sleeps with a picture of the baby under of pillow every night for twenty plus years.
9. Many relatives (birthmoms, birthdads, sisters, brothers) are trying to find their lost baby.
10. Many foster families, orphanage workers, and nannies are trying to contact and find the lost baby.
11. Many birthfamilies might even know their baby's orphanage name, when they were born and when they were adopted, as well as the country where the baby ended up.
12. Many of the reunions show that they have full grown siblings, multiple sisters, or sisters and brothers. Sometimes the adoptee isn't the oldest or the youngest, but happened to be in the middle.
13. The finding spot story is a lie. Seen on One Child Nation (Research China)
14. The birthmom is so upset that she had to give up her baby that she gets a job at the orphanage, but then she doesn't remember which baby is hers. Story on Research China
15. Mom and dad had a baby out of wedlock because they had the same last name and there was a superstition that this was bad luck so their parents didn't approve because it meant they were related (even though they knew they weren't.) and abandoned the baby at the market. Birthfather waited until he knew his daughter had been found and was very sad. Birthparents went to the bridge each year. Adoptive family purposefully hid the letter from their daughter. Parents' story heard in China on television show. After about two decades, the daughter is able to reunite on the bridge in the letter. (This is a rare scenario, most letters were thrown out, and some keepsakes from the "birthparents" are actually just made up by the orphanage.) Meet Me on the Bridge
16. The foster family is the birthfamily or related to the birthparents.
17. Zoe's story of finding birthparents via DNA Connect. She grew up as all Chinese adoptees do believing the story the orphanage gave her, but after finding her birthfamily, she learned how the government officials pressured her parents into leaving her in a public place, how the birthparents asked the orphanage to give her back and how they kept searching for her even after she was adopted. Also has two older sisters who grew up with the birthparents. Lansing State Journal 2019
18. Birthmom goes into hiding from the family planning officials, but three village officials tracked her down and forcibly remove the baby from her at the hospital when the baby is born.
19. Baby was adopted by a local Chinese family or sent to live with relatives until a safer time, but something happens, eventually baby ends up in the orphanage and adopted internationally. (Many variations of this story.)
20. The birthfather abandoned the baby. The birthmother then came to visit the baby in the orphanage, but couldn't have her again.
21. The birthfamily was too poor to get medical attention for the baby, so they had to "abandon" their sick baby.
22. Family planning forcibly removed the baby from the grandparent's house.
23. Babies are "abandoned" by relatives in public finding spots where they know the baby will quickly be found and left with milk powder, knitted clothes, toys, blankets, etc. Sometimes they made special patterned blankets, hoping the baby would return as an adult with the other half...too bad mostly all orphanages threw out these valuables.
24. Family was too poor to feed everyone, so mom put baby in orphanage and determined to re-adopt the baby when the family got more money, but then baby was adopted.
25. Birthmom and birthdad rent a remote house to avoid being caught by government, but someone reports them and their house is surrounded by government officials or threaten them to give up baby. Baby is adopted domestically illegally (a common practice in China historically where one couple will give their baby to another couple to raise without filing any paperwork), but someone reports them too. The baby is seized by officials and taken to the orphanage.
26. Orphanage director is a direct relative of adoptee and slips note to adoptive parents from the birthparents. Lived in a rural area, birth sister claims it is due to old fashioned prejudices against females and that's why the younger sister was given up...but somehow this gender logic doesn't apply to her who was a female and who was not placed in the orphanage.
27. Government officials took the baby and did not allow the family to take back their baby, raising the price to get their child returned. Baby was adopted. full story
28. Family attempted other options of hiding baby, but eventually had to put baby in orphanage. No finding spot involved. full story
29. Trafficking midwife lies to family, saying the baby can be adopted by a family in China. The baby is transported to an orphanage far away and orphanage gives midwife reward money for baby. Baby is adopted internationally. (I've heard this several times) full story
30. Birthparents were illiterate and were tricked into thinking the orphanage was a kindergarten. They promised that the baby would be able to go to college in the future. Baby was older (2 yrs) and could speak. Baby was adopted internationally. full story
31. Hospital doctors tell birthmother that the baby will have a better life if adopted domestically to a better family. Doctor turns around and sells baby to orphanage to be adopted internationally.
32. Birthmother had fully planned to have a baby who she would love, but complications in pregnancy meant she slipped into a coma. The birthfather gave the baby to relatives who could take care of her, but the relatives passed the baby to neighbors who then sold the baby to traffickers. Perhaps some lies were involved. Birthmother wakes up from a coma and finds baby girl missing, searches everywhere. DNA brings the families together. Adoptive parents were insecure and didn't want to "share" their child, but they eventually came around. full story
33. Birthmother gives birth in the hospital. When she asks where her baby girl is, the doctor tells her that she should not have broken the one child policy rule and the baby has been sent the orphanage, leaving the birthmother devastated.
34. Twins in rural China are separated. One is confiscated by the police (people use the word stolen, but stolen implies this confiscation was illegal, but the police were upholding the One Child Policy, meaning that it wasn't illegal...so really it wasn't a stealing or a kidnapping but a government sanctioned confiscation and IT WAS WRONG.) and taken to the orphanage where they receive a monetary reward for doing so. While everyone is blinded by the myth that all baby girls were unwanted, especially in the countryside, the fact was that these twins were very much loved and wanted. The twin in China was devastated. A journalist was able to reunite the twins. LA Times also featured in One Child Nation.
35. Baby was confiscated by Family Planning police in the 90's. Birthparents spent $50,000 trying to locate their baby over the years, believing she was somewhere else in China. They even sued in Chinese court the local Family Planning Officials to get information on her whereabouts. DNAConnect.Org was successfully able to DNA match the adoptee to her parents when she uploaded her DNA to GEDmatch. (Read my tutorial on DNA and how to use GEDmatch here) Source: DNAConnect.Org Facebook page.
36. Many birthparents are convinced that their babies are still in China, unable to believe that international adoption could have happened. Like the adoptees/adoptive parents, birthparents were also lied to.
19. Baby was adopted by a local Chinese family or sent to live with relatives until a safer time, but something happens, eventually baby ends up in the orphanage and adopted internationally. (Many variations of this story.)
20. The birthfather abandoned the baby. The birthmother then came to visit the baby in the orphanage, but couldn't have her again.
21. The birthfamily was too poor to get medical attention for the baby, so they had to "abandon" their sick baby.
22. Family planning forcibly removed the baby from the grandparent's house.
23. Babies are "abandoned" by relatives in public finding spots where they know the baby will quickly be found and left with milk powder, knitted clothes, toys, blankets, etc. Sometimes they made special patterned blankets, hoping the baby would return as an adult with the other half...too bad mostly all orphanages threw out these valuables.
24. Family was too poor to feed everyone, so mom put baby in orphanage and determined to re-adopt the baby when the family got more money, but then baby was adopted.
25. Birthmom and birthdad rent a remote house to avoid being caught by government, but someone reports them and their house is surrounded by government officials or threaten them to give up baby. Baby is adopted domestically illegally (a common practice in China historically where one couple will give their baby to another couple to raise without filing any paperwork), but someone reports them too. The baby is seized by officials and taken to the orphanage.
26. Orphanage director is a direct relative of adoptee and slips note to adoptive parents from the birthparents. Lived in a rural area, birth sister claims it is due to old fashioned prejudices against females and that's why the younger sister was given up...but somehow this gender logic doesn't apply to her who was a female and who was not placed in the orphanage.
27. Government officials took the baby and did not allow the family to take back their baby, raising the price to get their child returned. Baby was adopted. full story
28. Family attempted other options of hiding baby, but eventually had to put baby in orphanage. No finding spot involved. full story
29. Trafficking midwife lies to family, saying the baby can be adopted by a family in China. The baby is transported to an orphanage far away and orphanage gives midwife reward money for baby. Baby is adopted internationally. (I've heard this several times) full story
30. Birthparents were illiterate and were tricked into thinking the orphanage was a kindergarten. They promised that the baby would be able to go to college in the future. Baby was older (2 yrs) and could speak. Baby was adopted internationally. full story
31. Hospital doctors tell birthmother that the baby will have a better life if adopted domestically to a better family. Doctor turns around and sells baby to orphanage to be adopted internationally.
32. Birthmother had fully planned to have a baby who she would love, but complications in pregnancy meant she slipped into a coma. The birthfather gave the baby to relatives who could take care of her, but the relatives passed the baby to neighbors who then sold the baby to traffickers. Perhaps some lies were involved. Birthmother wakes up from a coma and finds baby girl missing, searches everywhere. DNA brings the families together. Adoptive parents were insecure and didn't want to "share" their child, but they eventually came around. full story
33. Birthmother gives birth in the hospital. When she asks where her baby girl is, the doctor tells her that she should not have broken the one child policy rule and the baby has been sent the orphanage, leaving the birthmother devastated.
34. Twins in rural China are separated. One is confiscated by the police (people use the word stolen, but stolen implies this confiscation was illegal, but the police were upholding the One Child Policy, meaning that it wasn't illegal...so really it wasn't a stealing or a kidnapping but a government sanctioned confiscation and IT WAS WRONG.) and taken to the orphanage where they receive a monetary reward for doing so. While everyone is blinded by the myth that all baby girls were unwanted, especially in the countryside, the fact was that these twins were very much loved and wanted. The twin in China was devastated. A journalist was able to reunite the twins. LA Times also featured in One Child Nation.
35. Baby was confiscated by Family Planning police in the 90's. Birthparents spent $50,000 trying to locate their baby over the years, believing she was somewhere else in China. They even sued in Chinese court the local Family Planning Officials to get information on her whereabouts. DNAConnect.Org was successfully able to DNA match the adoptee to her parents when she uploaded her DNA to GEDmatch. (Read my tutorial on DNA and how to use GEDmatch here) Source: DNAConnect.Org Facebook page.
36. Many birthparents are convinced that their babies are still in China, unable to believe that international adoption could have happened. Like the adoptees/adoptive parents, birthparents were also lied to.
Inconsistencies/Punishments
I have also heard that poor families who worked in the field got to have several children (around seven), and indeed the translator for the adoption agency that went with all the adoptive parents to get us was one of seven children (I was adopted 1998)!I have also heard that rich families got to have several children (around two or three) because they could afford to pay the fines for breaking the one child law. For instance, a rich movie star had multiple children and only had to pay a small fine.
Poor vs. rich? It seems almost random sometimes, more like who was influential or politically powerful in local villages determined how and how many laws could be broken. A well-connected individual may be able to become a foster parent to her child in the orphanage or be able to connect the adoptee to an influential politician adoptive parent abroad, hoping that status will assure her child of a bright future.
(Further reading: Changing Attitudes: One Child Policy by Lan Stuy)
It also isn't uncommon for pregnant women to go into hiding or rent a hide-out even in another province far away to give birth to avoid being caught by government officials. (It doesn't mean they weren't caught though, or that someone didn't turn them in.)
Parents were threatened with fines, jail time, and loss of their jobs. They would threaten to knock down people's houses, threaten to remove everything inside the house or knock down the houses of your relatives, and might even arrest your family members and hold them for ransom until the pregnant woman gives herself up. Forced abortions and forced sterilizations also happened. Our birthparents did not make a difficult "choice."
There was no "choice" or concept of "willingness." If someone puts a gun to your head and tells you to sign something, then that signature is invalid because it was under "duress."
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Media from this "era of correction"
NBC News 2020: In connecting Chinese adoptees to birth families, couple makes discovery about China's one-child policy
New York Times 2019: ‘One Child Nation’ Review: Controlling Minds and Bodies
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Further reading (external links)
- Open Secret: Cash and Coercion in China's International Adoption Program (2014)
Excerpt: Scandals, media investigations, and orphanage data show that random abandonment is not often the provider of adopted children, despite this being the primary assumption among adoptive families. Some orphanage directors have sought opportunities to increase their adoption revenue by various means—including baby buying, family-planning activities (some involving confiscation of children), and deceptive promises made to birth families—in order to coerce them into relinquishing a child. - DNA Connect Searching Birth Families Blog (Updated as new matches are made)
- DNA Connect.Org Stories of Reunion (Updated as new matches are made)
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More from Noble Soul
This particular post is updated periodically as new information comes to light. I try my best to be respectful of the individuals and of the source so that this is not invasive. I will not name "names" unless it is already published in another newspaper/television show/etc. My blog isn't even reporting. It's just a list.
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