Choosing to do 23andMe

When I was younger, I falsely accepted that I would never find my birthparents. The One Child Policy was too harsh. China was too big. I was too far away. Whenever my mother would pitch the idea of a futuristic database where adoptees and birthparents could be matched with what we had falsely believed to be accurate information about our birthdate, finding date, and finding location, and verified with a DNA test, I would not hear it. As a five year old (and even younger), I knew how impossible it was. It is very painful to hope, so I just didn't.

With the advent of DNA testing, my world was flipped upside down. I could walk into a CVS or Target and just buy a DNA test. It was unreal. I had reservations about privacy and had done a project in school about the ethics of DNA databases...even so, I couldn't quash the hope. DNAConnect has managed to match 69 adoptees with their birthparents to date doing random DNA samples (meaning, there was not a prior lead that was verified via DNA. The DNA was the lead). I dove into the world of DNA. As a biochemist, I realized what exactly I was giving up, what ramifications were at stake if DNA were ever used unethically...but I only have one life to live. What if I had a sister out there waiting for me to find her? I couldn't leave her hanging feeling that my privacy was worth more than hers. 

My parents supported me 100% and made an announcement to my aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins that I would be doing 23 and Me. My parents and I paid for the test, going 50/50. I choose 23andMe because most Chinese adoptees were in that database. It is better to pool the samples together to maximize the chances of matching each other. I spit in a tube and shipped it off.

Of course, I was a nervous wreck checking my account the first few times. Most of my relatives are distant, the closest one sharing 0.80% DNA with me. Not even a full 1%. I uploaded my DNA file to GEDmatch too to see if I had any relatives there, but nothing...

(Read guide for using GEDmatch here.)

Many adoptive parents are in charge of their adult adoptee's DNA sometimes and it can be frustrating to meet so many adoptive parents who don't think a 3rd cousin means anything and cut you off. At the very least, isn't it up to your adult adoptee to decide whether I am someone they would like to talk to? It is extremely discouraging and I just hope that one day, DNA will find a match for me or that one, just one, of my close relatives takes a DNA test. 

External Resource: You can read more about DNA tests in China here.
My Guide for using GEDmatch: GEDmatch and DNA Testing 101
External Resource: Steps provided by DNAConnect for starting your DNA search.