What does it mean to explore Chinese Culture as a Chinese Adoptee?

I wrote a snarkier response to this question here, my answers to intrusive strangers who believe they are entitled to my story, like I was some freak show entertainment for them to enjoy. But, for other adoptees, it is a valid topic of interest, so I thought I'd actually answer it here.

What does it really mean to explore Chinese culture when you're a Chinese Adoptee? For me, I don't believe there is a single right answer. Every adoptee feels differently about being Asian and I can't stress enough how my Asian American friends don't even have to do the gymnastics we adoptees try to do in order to prove their Asian-ness. For example, many adoptees decide to wear a qipao to prom and may even legally change their name back to their Chinese name, but my Chinese American friends are named Emily and Beth and they have never worn a qipao in their life. Another example? Many Chinese adoptees attend "Chinese school" to learn Mandarin, but the Chinese American kids in my community can't speak Mandarin or drop out of Chinese school by middle school. We have to understand that our concept of "Chinese" and "China" is shaped heavily by Westernized views of how the "other" lives. It doesn't mean we shouldn't even want a connection...but sometimes I think some adoptees are trying too hard to be something they're not, and even pressured into playing pretend and playing dress-up to please their adoptive parents, or an outside audience who believes everyone who looks Chinese should act Chinese.

That being said, my family did provide me with many opportunities to connect with my heritage. I applaud them for acknowledging my roots, but honestly, there really isn't anything you can do to prevent an adoptee from having those feelings of being Asian enough or white enough or a good enough adoptee. I'm happy I did most of the things below, but just because we look Asian, doesn't mean we should be expected to play the stereotypical part. We have the right to be ourselves and that includes forging our own identities and deciding how much of our culture we really want to connect with. It's also fluid: just because you're not interested now, doesn't mean you won't be later. Just don't force it...or force anyone else to play make believe to satisfy your Chinese fantasies.

Here are some of the things I did in my life to explore my "Chinese Culture":

1. Chinese language teachers who wanted to teach Chinese adoptees as toddlers how to speak Mandarin. They led adoptee only classes with us and our parents.
2. Big Bird in China, Chang'e Flies to the Moon, I love you like Crazy Cakes: Books and movies that make China and Chinese adoption a household topic.
3. Having an adoptee group. It began with good intentions, but honestly, I wrote about it in length elsewhere. Too much of a fairytale, but fairytales aren't real.
4. Traditional Chinese Dance Troupe organized by a Chinese family specifically for Chinese adoptees. It was nice, until adoptive parents started saying things like "we saved these rescued orphans." Then my parents took me out because it was too self-serving.
5.  Chinese school in the local community, where I could attend more dance classes, art classes, and learn Mandarin. This lasted just a few years. They had a special class just for those who were adopted or spoke a different dialect at home. Slowly, everyone dropped out, even the Asian American kids.
6. Being a Chinese adoptee in a very diverse school where I was with other Chinese adoptees, Korean adoptees, Asian Americans, and many other races. Arguably the most important thing on this list is growing up in a diverse environment where skin color meant squat shit and I was viewed as completely normal by my teachers and peers. There was authentically already a strong Asian community where I lived. It wasn't forced or contrived. Just being with different people in school makes a world of difference. I'm not sure being in an all white community with a small segregated group of "fresh off the boat" community would have cut it. Nor do I think going to a Chinese restaurant once a week or traveling to H-mart will do the job. Nor do I think being tossed into an Asian church will make you feel at home. The key is that you're a part of the community, not invading someone else's community.
7. Going to China Town. Many cultural events and a strong sense of the local community. There's always good food and things to do in China Town!
8. Celebrating Lunar New Year. Something fun to do with my friends.
9. Making Chinese Food, Having Dim Sum. Being able to make all those foods your parents remember having in China.
10. Being a part of Subtle Asian Traits and Subtle Asian Beauty. A place I feel at home. It's relatable content and I don't feel like I'm an outsider. I feel included.
11. Going to Holt Camp. It wasn't my cup of tea.
12. Going to Culture Camp/Other Large FCC Events. It depends on which event you attend. Mine had us do silk paintings, which is just strange because my Chinese American friends never painted silk in their life. It felt inauthentic, forced, and like we were "playing dress up" and "playing pretend." It almost felt like a Westernized mockery of "oriental" culture. Plus, the adoptive parents there at my particular event were too involved, and sometimes they would say really obnoxious things to kids who aren't even their own kids. Things like "You are ssoooooooo lucky."