My Holt Camp Experience

I went to Holt camp two separate times in middle school. It was about 4 days of sleep-away camp, chock full of activities, adoptee discussions, games, and outdoorsy things. My parents thought it would be a good idea for me to have the opportunity, so I went.

Being away from home was extremely hard for me. I couldn't even call them or text them because we weren't allowed to use our phones. As an adoptee, sleep away camps can be very scary, but there's a pressure to put a brave face on and act like you're not a baby. Still, other adoptees just may not be affected as much...but it wasn't like they're telling me.

It was interesting to see so many adoptees, but I already grew up with many so it wasn't like a big shock. The only thing I was surprised at was how many girls named Asia, China, and Jade there were. There were Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese adoptees mostly, but also a few random other races too. My camp counselor was wonderful and she was Indian. I don't remember a whole lot from my time there except that there was a tremendous pressure to say I had made a "family" or "life-long friends," which I hadn't. There was also a tremendous pressure to say, "I finally found a place where I belonged, where people were just like me," which also really wasn't true.

I remember we had one adoption discussion about Asian stereotypes. The question posed to us preteens was: "Are stereotypes like all Asians are smart and pretty good or bad?" While the overwhelming consensus was that stereotypes were bad, there was a single Chinese adoptee who said, "I don't know. Isn't it a compliment?" The camp counselors and other adoptees jumped on her like a pack of hyenas. "How could she be so stupid? Why couldn't she see that stereotypes were always bad, even the good ones?" The adoptee ended up sobbing in the middle of the room and no one went to comfort her. She was confused and didn't know what hit her. It seemed, like in most safe spaces, that it is the law of majority rules, and bullying is okay as long as it is done in the name of justice. I felt terrible for her. God forbid she had a different opinion. I'm sure a persuasive argument could have been made that stereotypes, even the "nice" ones were still not good. But instead, everyone felt like they had a license to pile on top of her. I felt more like I was being indoctrinated into a cult, where only one opinion was correct, more than being a part of a discussion.

I don't remember much else. I didn't make any life long friends. I wasn't magically enlightened. Mostly, I just wanted to go back home. I'm not saying you shouldn't do Holt Camp, or that everyone was unhappy. I know there are some people who swear by it, tell people what a community it is, and then become a camp counselor. But I do know that of the four girls I originally went with, two returned the second year, and zero returned the third year. It was okay, but I wouldn't do it again.

Disclaimer: This is only my opinion and my experience. I would encourage any curious adoptees to try it for themselves. It wasn't my cup of tea, but it appeared that many people liked it, so nothing against it.